It Seems Impossible To Own Land

(A Poetic Essay)

I am a farmer, but I don't have a farm. I am 28 years old and have a lot of life left ahead of me, but it still seems impossible that I will ever own land. Sometimes I think back with some slight fear and regret to turning away from becoming a doctor or a business executive and choosing to become a writing entrepreneur and business owner. At least those other paths may have guaranteed me, the second-third generation American, to see an ounce of hope that I may ever purchase my own land in my lifetime.

This lack of hope, I feel, is the thought of many young to middle-aged adults in America. We have no roots here on this land, and there seems to be no future for it either, with how expensive it is to own land, and how volatile the economy seems to be at this time.

I am not making an excuse to not work hard. This seems to be the philosophy of older generations. They believed in the American dream, and many were successful in obtaining it. But the younger generations know the true cost. We feel the post-traumatic effects of war in our bodies. We see the reality of invading other countries for oil. We want no part in any of it, but we also need to survive in the land in which we were brought to, and have landed upon by fate.

All I know, is that I want access to healthy food, and clean water for my family. I also want to fulfill the inherent desire and human right to grow this food for myself and others. Something about my soul feels fractured, it aches, when I cannot simply walk outside and just put my hands into soil every day and watch my vegetables grow, and I am sure as hell not going to be able to see a tree that I plant grow outside of my home. I have no "home." I am a renter; I am a borrower. I am too busy trying to break out of the capitalist, corporate system that will keep me running from paycheck to paycheck. I am still breaking free from novice entrepreneurship, which takes incredible mental strength, of which some days I have, and others I don't because I am not eating well, I am eating cheap, processed food from the convenient grocery store…

It is true that I am jealous sometimes, of those who inherited land and wealth. I have been displaced from my own native medicines, seeds, prayers, and languages. I think many multi-cultural Americans such as myself, can feel lost and hopeless here. It is difficult to find belonging here. However, I still have hope. Not just foolish optimism that my business may take off one day and make the $150K-$350k+ it would cost to purchase land and a modern home in the mountains of Western North Carolina, but that we will find each other and share our resources in creating eco-sustainable community meant to nourish ourselves and preserve and conserve the natural resources. I am conscious enough also, to know that no one really owns anything, and none of us really deserve it either. There is too much blood on this soil, and she should remain wild.

I release the need to achieve, buy, own, and claim. I trust that everything my family needs to live a healthy life will always be provided. I shift my focus to be a good steward of all land and all life, here and everywhere. I will continue to encourage soul and ancestral wisdom so that the seeds will be remembered and they will be protected, and that they will be my legacy. I will continue to challenge any rhetoric that is anti organic life, or any means that believe that humans must trump the Natural. I allow myself to feel and find belonging anywhere, as I remember the sister or the brother in any tree or human that I meet. Any water that I drink will be a prayer to the grandmother who comforted me and raised me well.

It seems impossible to own land. This is not grief, this is an awakening that I am a spiritual being having a human experience. Land ownership does not define my safety, value, or legacy. I am sheltered by the Love that I steward here– now and every day.

Did you enjoy this essay? I invite you to read more of my articles for free at https://www.consciouslifestylecoaching.com/writing. You can also learn more about my 1-on-1 coaching sessions and the upcoming 90-day coaching portal, Expand Your Soul Work.

Raileigh Easterling is the Founder of Conscious Lifestyle Coaching LLC. She is a motivational author, poet, & public speaker; a transformational retreat host & mindfulness teacher; and a business & public relations consultant. Conscious Lifestyle Coaching LLC is a sacred space for entrepreneurs, changemakers, and visionaries on the path of self-development, healing, and spirituality to experience transformation and holistic growth.

#soulpoetry #ancestralhealing #hope #dreamer #spiritualawakening