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How to Keep Having Good Sex (Not What You Think)

Good sex is important for a healthy marriage. When I say, "good sex," I mean sex that is rooted in conscious awareness. This does not mean that our partners owe us anything. In fact, if you don't feel like having sex, then definitely don't! However, lack of sex or bad sex in a divine union is a sign that there is a spiritual disconnection that is occurring and needs to be addressed.


I understand you may read that last sentence and already get tired just thinking about a heavy conversation, maybe filled with anger or tears. You have been trying to avoid this for as long as possible! But this is your problem. You are avoiding the heart. Good sex is emotional and holistic. You have to make time for it. It can't be rushed. It starts with the eyes first. A conversation, and compassionate touches. Anything else is not sex– at least, not sacred sex.


Let's go even deeper: sex is is not love. You don't need to be in love to have sex, and you do not need to have sex to show love. Spiritual sex is about soul connection. Does your partner protect you in all ways? Does your partner show up for you and want to take care of you, to help make you happy? Does your partner inspire you, excite you, and make you laugh? Does your partner give you peace at the end of a long day? The thread here is that it is all about energy, magnetism, and enlightenment. 


Sex with our partner should be an exploration of God's truth in another. With every touch, you are reminded how adored you are. You need God, You want God. God makes you feel complete and whole. Good sex teaches you how to recognize when you are disconnected from Source, or when you are in flow of the universe. 


You may already know all of this with your mind. But are you feeling it with every cell in your body? Have you given sex a sacred purpose, beyond an orgasm, but as a portal to the dimension in which your soul mission is ignited and empowered? Are you loving yourself more when you have sex, so much so that you are motivated and empowered to do more good in this world? If not, then maybe you have not had good sex in a while… and it is time to realign.    


I purposely did not sensationalize this article with sex advice, but here are some simple and practical actions you could apply in harmony with the philosophy I shared above:


How to Keep Having Good Sex


  1. Take deep slow breaths to more deeply surrender to pleasure in the present moment.

  2. Foreplay marathon to entice more joyful play and build up anticipation (for those who struggle with shifting mental focus from work to sexy time with their partner).

  3. Allow any physical or chronic pain to guide you into yoga poses (stretches or strength training), and get creative with your sex position (increases your pleasure, which is their pleasure too!).

  4. Have a conversation! If you're shy about sex talk, remember it does not have to be dirty. Exchange statements of gratitude and positive affirmations for your partner to receive and enjoy.


Raileigh Easterling is the Founder of Conscious Lifestyle Coaching LLC. She is a motivational author, poet, & public speaker; a transformational retreat host & mindfulness teacher; and a business & public relations consultant. Conscious Lifestyle Coaching LLC is a sacred space for entrepreneurs, changemakers, and visionaries on the path of self-development, healing, and spirituality to experience transformation and holistic growth.



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