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Writer's pictureRaileigh Duschen

Body Image Issues

Honest thoughts about "staying in shape" in winter from a conscious lifestyle coach


raileigh duschen martial arts jiu jitsu asheville grace barre
Raileigh Duschen with professional Jiu Jitsu Instructor, Fabiana Borges at Gracie Barre in Asheville, North Carolina led by professor Josh Trampas

I feel that I have been eroticized ever since I was a baby. 


My body image has always been a pillar of judgement and criticism. Conversations always seemed to evolve around my weight or how pretty I was, how dark I was, and if the texture of my hair was smooth enough. Nothing bothers me most than when I speak poetry and a powerful message, or share my business successes and all someone says is that I’m “a pretty girl.” It’s devaluing to my life. Stop it. Love yourself, please. 


Growing up I was terrible at math and incredibly shy. I found my first authentic modes of expression through music and poetry, and found for the first time, a sense of identity outside of my body. I loved being a band kid I realize, because of the uniformity and I did not have to stress so much about my clothes or my hair. I felt belonging in anonymity and blending in. 


I first found that I had a gift in writing in middle school, and it never left me that I realized I could communicate how I felt inside in a way that did not make people feel attacked but understood. I started to receive praise then for how “smart” I was. That my intelligence would make me a “great doctor or lawyer one day.” No one told me I would make a great business woman or an accomplished writer.


Martial arts is a discipline where I also find a poetic way of expression of the rage and the grief I have felt as a woman in my 20’s. The expression is controlled, serious, and a dance of strength without violence. There is mutual understanding on the mat in fighting through our brokenness together.


I write this as Thanksgiving in America is around the corner, and I’ve been restoring my body from travel, trauma, and full-time farming the last few months. I’ve been truly resting for the first time all year, eating meat, and more carbohydrates than usual. I feel the weight coming on my body, and I know I look and feel healthier, but the little girl in me is screaming to drop the weight, and to hide, because apparently beauty is the most important thing about her and she wants to protect herself from more attacks and beatings and gropes.


To whoever is reading this, yes martial arts, yoga, and dance are fantastic ways to stay in shape over the holidays and wintertime. Please keep the arts alive. However, I am more so trying to reiterate to you that it’s never about what the world wants from you, it’s how you feel. If you feel love inside, that’s what matters. If you don’t, then yes, please make changes and be at peace with yourself. None of it has to happen all right now. Your worth is not in your body. Or even your mind. There is no worth tied to you. You are a beautiful soul. It’s that simple. You can also be a free soul, that receives from pure desires and genuine gifts. It’s that simple too. Quiet the noise in the world and you’ll hear that little child within you say “thank you for allowing me to be myself!”


If you enjoyed this short story, I invite you to my free weekly group coaching call, The Medicine Garden at 7pm ET. Join the group call every Tuesday by emailing Raileigh Duschen at raileigh@consciouslifestylecoaching.com


🌟 If you are on the path of self-development, healing, and spirituality and are seeking guidance at this time, receive a free 45 minute coaching discovery call (by free application to the Life Purpose Actualization program only).


🌟 A HEALTHIER KIND OF FUN, my next Sacred Reminders, Ascension Seminar (monthly live free virtual discourse) is December 15th, from 3pm - 6pm ET. Registration is free for a limited time.


🌟You can now schedule an exclusive solo or group healing retreat. We focus on professional and self-development, holistic well-being, and empowerment by creating spaces for healthier and more productive lifestyles and business cultures.


🌟Please check out my newly published book, “Phoenix Medicines— A Transformative Journey through Consciousness,a collection of poetry, short stories, meditations, affirmations, and prayers. Special thanks to Otterpine. Available on Amazon and most online retailers.


🌟The Amazon Best-Seller, “Women Connected in Wisdom Vol II: Stories & Resources Rooted in the 8 Dimensions of Wellness” is available in audiobook, ebook, and paperback.


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